by Julie Morris, juliemorris.org
For parents, the number one responsibility is always the health and happiness of the kids. Many single parents, however, struggle to find time to focus on their own personal well being, and this can lead to some bad habits. While it may seem like a strange idea at first, taking a solo vacation is one of the best ways for single parents to recharge their batteries and gain some perspective. Here are some tips for first-timers on making the most of their solo vacation.
Choose your destination based on your personality and desires
It’s hard to recommend specific destinations for solo travel because everyone is different (but here are some). What one person loves may bore another. Some people love adventure (and even a little bit of danger) while others’ idea of a great vacation is calm and security. The best thing you can do is think about the top three things you want out of a vacation and research your options with those in mind.
If you don’t want to spend too much time having to interact with others, destinations with highly friendly/aggressive people may not be your cup of tea. If you don’t want to do too much in-trip traveling, a city destination dependent on public transport my not be a great idea. If you want to immerse yourself and purposefully give yourself some culture shock, try something that is vastly different from what you know – a trip to Southeast Asia or Japan, for example.
Don’t think about your kids
This may sound harsh, but you’re going on a solo adventure for a reason. Make preparations for your kids to receive the best care possible while you’re gone and then stop thinking about them. They will be fine. Some ways you can make sure of this, however, include: planning fun things for them to do while you’re away, talking with them about what you will do together when you return, and being completely open and honest about what you’re doing and why you’re doing it.
If you do want to periodically check in with your little ones while you’re away, it’s important you know how to do that. Depending on your destination, you may or may not have cell service. If service will be spotty, wi-fi-capable apps, such as WhatsApp and Facebook Messenger, are an excellent way to keep in touch.
Remember why you’re traveling
Speaking of talking to your kids about why you’re doing this, why are you doing this? The more you know your own desires and motivations, the more of a mental boost your trip will provide you. One big reason people take solo trips is that they’re dealing with major life stress at home, like beginning the long path to healing and self-discovery during recovery from addiction, for instance. A solo vacation not only gives you time away from whatever is triggering you at home, it also provides one of the best backdrops for self-reflection that you can give yourself.
Many who travel solo discover an independence and self-sufficiency that they may not have known they had, and this boost carries over to their regular life when they get home and get back to reality.
There’s nothing inherently better about solo travel as opposed to travel with family, but for some it can provide a chance for rejuvenation. For single parents, it’s often hard to get over the feeling that doing something just for your is selfish, but it’s not. Giving yourself a break, even if just for a day or two, will help you put things in perspective and, much like stepping away from a difficult problem at work, allows you to refocus on your attention on the little things that make a big difference. Pulling away from the humdrum of everyday responsibilities will bring balance to your life and, in the end, help you refine your parenting abilities for the better.
Remember, we all need a break now and then. The fact that you have children doesn’t change that you are human, with needs, wants, and desires. In order to be the most effective parent and caregiver possible, you must also be the best version of you, and that starts with taking the time to remember who you are.
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