“It is during our darkest moments that we must focus on the light.” – Aristotle

The last couple months have been like no other time in human history and it has caused dramatic changes to our daily way of life. These changes have caused many of us to experience a great deal of uncertainty about what life looks like going forward. This has prompted many of us to experience a wide range of emotions and feelings, especially some uncomfortable ones. But in these difficult moments I go back to the things I learned on the field, as an athlete and coach, to help me navigate these challenging times. I am amazed at how much my experiences in sport have prepared me for long-term success in life, no matter what is going on.

Here are two valuable life lessons that I learned during my 18-years as a football coach. Interestingly enough the two lessons came during two of my most challenging times as a coach.

1. Focus on what you can actually control

During challenging and difficult times it is easy to feel annoyed, frustrated and angry. In 2007 I experienced the most lopsided loss of my coaching career when my team and I were on the short end of a 63-0 game. To make matters more embarrassing for me this loss was against my previous school that I taught and coached at. I remember being really excited all week for this game because we had a great week of practice. Our players worked extra hard all week because they knew how important the game was to me.

Things have an interesting way of working out though because as soon as the game started I realized we were in over our head. I remember yelling out the plays that the other team was running (before the play started) but we were simply over-matched and unable to stop them. Our players and coaches played to the best of their ability but we were simply beat by a much better football team.

This experience taught me that in any given situation in life you need to be able to confidently look yourself in the mirror and know that you gave your best effort and attitude.

• Focus Challenge #1 – Set a reminder/alarm on your phone that reminds you to get outside for a 15-minute mindful walk daily, regardless of the weather. This will train your mind that you are always in control, regardless, of what’s happening in your external world. Plus you get the added benefit of getting some extra movement in your day which always helps us feel better.

2. Focus on slowing things down

During challenging and difficult times it is easy to feel overwhelmed when we are faced with uncertainty in life. In 2013 I was asked to step into the Offensive Coordinator role of the high school football team I was coaching. We were a championship contending team that season so I felt nervous stepping into the role because I did not want to let the team down. To make the situation feel more daunting I had never been an Offensive Coordinator at any level of coaching, I was replacing a very knowledgeable successful coach and we were scheduled to play an exhibition game at the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Ohio in less than two weeks. No pressure.

There were several moments during that season where I felt completely overwhelmed and in over my head. There were times where I would find myself in tears because I felt the pressure to help everyone succeed. As I began to invest more energy and focus into learning how each play worked, watching more film and finding ways to put our best athletes in a position to succeed I found myself growing more confident and less overwhelmed. I also had a great group of veteran leaders that stepped up huge that season to support me.

This experience taught me that in any given situation in life when I notice myself starting to feel overwhelmed I simply need to hit pause, to slow down and to take five breaths. Doing this always helps me feel better which helps me respond better in challenging situations.

• Focus Challenge #2 – Set a reminder/alarm on your phone that reminds you to hit pause, to slow down and to take five breaths. Ideally doing this throughout the day (e.g. at 9 am, 12 pm, 3 pm and 6 pm) will help you slow down and help you feel more calm throughout the day.

 

Life will constantly present us with challenging and difficult situations that will make us feel uncomfortable at times. But it is during these moments where we need to focus on the things that can empower us to feel a little better.