“You never change things by fighting against the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the old model obsolete.”
Buckminster Fuller
Have you ever felt like you were going through your day on “auto-pilot?”
Have you ever driven to a destination and thought how did I get here?
Have you ever found yourself reacting when your significant other says or does something?
Have you ever found yourself yelling at your kids for no reason?
Yes we have all been there and done that.
As much as we like to believe that we are in control in life, we really are on auto-pilot.
We have been conditioned throughout our lives to think and act (i.e. way of being) in certain ways. These ways of being have been impressed onto us through our genes at conception and through our environment, especially during the first seven years of our lives.
These ways of being have become fixed ideas stored in our subconscious (emotional) mind and often referred to as paradigms. What is a paradigm? A paradigm is a mental program that has exclusive control of our habitual behaviour and almost all of our behaviour is habitual. Your subconscious mind is responsible for 96-98% of all your thoughts, perceptions and behaviours so they produce most of the results you will experience in life.
The only way to create better results in any area of our life is by shifting our paradigms and the only way to do this is by doing the illogical. Stop doing what you have been doing up to this point.
Do you want to create stronger and deeper connections with your loved ones?
Then you must TAKE DIFFERENT ACTIONS today!
Here are two ways to do this:
1. Variety is the spice of life
To create deeper and more meaningful relationships with your loved ones you need to embrace change. Albert Einstein said it best “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Since all humans are creatures of habit you need to be intentional with how you show up for your loved ones on a daily basis. You will not get it right 100% of the time but you can always have the ability to create new opportunities to build stronger connections.
Set aside 15 minutes this week to sit down as a family, get out a sheet of paper, brainstorm different ways for all of you to spend time together and write the ideas down. Invite all your loved ones to engage in the process – think in possibilities and have some fun with it.
2. Take ACTION
Once you have your list of new and different activities, as a family, choose one activity that you will all participate in this week. This can be a great way to empower every member of your family to become more emotionally-invested into this bonding time.
Maybe one week the kids decide what the activity is, then the adult(s) decides the following week, and so-on. All you want to do is to give everyone equal say in this because people are more likely to be fully engaged in the activity.
Prioritize these two actions this week and see how things in your relationships start to shift.
About The Author – Justin Tsui
Justin Tsui is a consultant with the Proctor Gallagher Institute who has been helping people create the life they want and to fulfill their dreams. Justin, who is intensely growth and goal-oriented, helps individuals, groups and companies discover their deepest desires, reach their potential and achieve their personal and professional goals. If you like to create the life you've been dreaming of, join his Facebook community: facebook.com/groups/wineachday
