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A Fast Track to Single Fatherhood
by John Hoffman It’s not often that a 47-year-old guy, who wasn’t really planning on fatherhood, ends up as the full-time single parent of a four month-old baby. That’s what happened to George* (not his real name) last year. Right now he’s on parental leave, looking after baby Nathan*, now nine months old. Nathan’s mom is involved and comes for...
Recovering from Stress: an important skill for fathers
by John Hoffman Let me tell you about my really bad day – as a dad, I mean. It took place some years ago when we were on holiday in New Brunswick. Our boys were 2, 6 and 9 at the time. That afternoon we’d stopped at Hopewell Cape to look at it’s beautiful flowerpot rock formations at low tide. As soon as we got there, our rather impulsive...
Does your relationship need the “Anti-Corrosion Treatment?”
by John Hoffman In my last post I started looking at conflict between parenting partners. This time I want to talk about what some experts call corrosive conflict. That’s the ongoing, unresolved conflict that poses the real danger to relationships. Corrosive conflict is like rust. It can gradually damage a relationship that once was strong....
Love and Conflict Part 1: How the stress response can make conflict worse
by John Hoffman First the bad news. Conflict is inevitable; even in love relationships, if you didn’t already know (which you probably did). It makes sense that partners would have conflict. You spend a lot of time together. You have high expectations for each other. You have the classic issues to butt heads about - money, housework, sex, and, of...
When Big Days Blow Up on You: Preventing holiday meltdowns
by John Hoffman Not that I want to be a Grinch during the season of good cheer but… Here’s one of the less pleasant realities of being a parent of little kids. Sometimes the days that you really, really want to go well are the ones that really, really, really don’t go well. You know, like Christmas. Everyone is looking forward to the big day....
Holiday Thoughts for Single Parents
by Barry Lillie The holiday times are often moments where single parents struggle with sharing time, memories of holidays past, and ensuring their children how to The following are guidelines for newly separating or changed families during this joyous but often difficult season. Guard against any erratic behavior by yourself or your former...
First-time Dads-to-be Wanted!
FIRST-TIME DADS-TO-BE WANTED FOR A STUDY! Healthydads.ca a new website being developed for first-time dads-to be. This self-help website has information and strategies to help dads adjust to parenthood. What is involved? Screening to check if you are eligible to participate. Men will be eligible if they are at risk for depression, expecting a...
You’re Not the Most Important Person Right Now . . . But You’re Still Important
by John Hoffman People sometimes talk about new fathers being “jealous of the baby.” I’ve never liked that. It paints fathers as self-absorbed and immature. And it pits Dads and babies as competitors. Ick. But most of all it oversimplifies some issues that we really should talk about. Obviously, having a baby brings big changes to a partner...
What Do New Dads Want to Know? (spoiler alert: it’s how to soothe a fussy baby)
by John Hoffman A Canadian research group surveyed 174 expectant and new dads. One question they asked was what information dads were looking for. I was a little surprised to see that the top answer was how to soothe a fussy baby. I’ve done my share of soothing fussy babies and I’ve done lots of research and writing on the topic. Here’s my two...
A Poll: Being a Dad
Dad Central Ontario is looking for some Dads to respond to the following polls: [polldaddy poll=9178909] [polldaddy poll=9178916] Polls close Friday, Nov 27. Thanks for your ideas.
Postpartum Depression: It’s a dad thing, too
by John Hoffman When we hear the words postpartum depression (PPD), we usually think of mothers. But fathers get it too, maybe not as often as moms, but it happens. Some experts estimate that up to 10% of men experience some level of depression after the birth of a child. And sometimes maternal and paternal PPD are linked. One study found that...
Alex Nayanookeesic – A Father of Four Children at the Age of 26
by Gordon Mackenzie On the day of a full moon, August 29, 2015, Alex and Laura welcomed into their lives baby Esme Kristiane Nayanookeesic, after waiting a long three week period of being overdue. She weighed in at 9 lbs. 12 oz. On the morning of the birth Laura went into labour at 2:00am, they then went to the local Nipigon hospital around...
Daddy and Me: On the Move
by John Hoffman Being a dad comes with lots of challenges. One of the more ordinary ones is helping kids find something good to do when they are bored. With young children there will always be these times when “there’s nothing to do.” And while it’s perfectly fine – probably even good – for kids to be bored sometimes, stuff happen when children...
Stress and Children’s Behaviour
by John Hoffman Why do kids behave badly? Because they don’t know any better? Because their parents don’t set limits? Because some kids are born with a bit of devil in them? I’ve got another reason for you. Stress. I won’t claim that stress is always the cause of children’s misbehaviour. But it’s a bigger cause than many people think. Think...
Divorce Reform Can Meet the Best Interest of the Child . . . and Both Parents
Something has happened that I thought I’d never live to see. Fathers’ divorce rights activists and their opponents agreed on how to change divorce laws.
Six Ways For Dads To Have Their Best Year In 2023
Dads, as we start the new year, it’s a great time to reflect on the past year and set goals for the year ahead. This is especially important when it comes to our relationships with our children and families
How ADHD Freed Geoff Girvitz To Use His Super Power For Good
At the age of 45 Geoff was diagnosed with ADHD. Since that time, he’s been working closely with men with ADHD to maximize their potential – recognizing that neurodiversity can give you a “superpower” when used well.
How The Right Thoughts Help You Master Fatherhood
This week we speak with Paul Sullivan, a journalist for 25 years, author of two books and founder of The Company of Dads. Paul left his dream job as a NY Times columnist to create The Company of Dads.
7 Daily Actions To Help Your Kids Build Confidence
In this episode Ed and Drew talk about Drew’s experiences that led him to identify and apply these 7 actions on a daily basis. By doing them consistently he’s built a rock solid connection with his kids.