This conversation explores the fatherhood experiences of Roger Dundas and Matt Prestbury. Roger Dundas is the Managing Director at Konvo Media and the Publisher/Co-Founder of ByBlacks.com. Matt Prestbury is the Founder of The Black Fathers Foundation.
From hearing about foundational childhood experiences that formed their perspective on fatherhood to the importance of structure and discipline to be at your best, this conversation is packed with insightful stories, humour and wisdom.
Both Roger and Matt experienced family separation and estranged relationships with their own fathers growing up, which impacted them in different ways. They talk about the challenge of living without their father’s positive influence, what it meant, and how they have grown as men and dads as a result. They stress the importance of having a fatherly influence at important decision-making points in life as a young man. Matt and Roger restored the relationship with their fathers as adults and talk about the difference that makes for them now.
As the conversation continues, they offer best practices and tools to help dads become better people first, and better dads as a result. They talk about helping children with their mental and emotional health, listening to your children, and giving them well-rounded experiences to help them grow into confident and successful people.
A common fear they share about becoming a dad was wondering, “Am I going to do a good job?” and “Am I going to screw my kids up/have I screwed my kids up?”. Working through those fears and self-doubts has helped them become better dads and men. The conversation also brings up the importance of having community for support as a man and parent.
They also discuss balance, the challenges of being a black dad, the importance of having deep and meaningful conversations with your kids, and having humility and patience as a dad. The conversation ends with two powerful messages for Black Fathers:
Matt says: “Enjoy every minute of it and think about the role of being a father-figure, and how you represent yourself. We are not who the world may say we are! Be a living example of the best of black fatherhood!”
Roger says: “You have to take care of yourself first! You have to work on being a better person first – body, mind and soul! Think positive thoughts and hang around positive people. “
Conversation Takeaways:
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- Fatherly advice is important at decision making points in a child’s life
- Becoming a better person helps you be a better dad
- Surrounding yourself and your children with the right people makes a big difference
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Conversation Highlights:
01:25 Introductions
4:24 Early childhood experiences with their fathers
12:17 Dealing with losing the relationship with their father as a child
21:06 Fears about becoming a dad and how you start to look at life differently
26:01 Matt being a young dad and “winging it”
31:00 Helping children and supporting their mental and emotional well-being
34:10 Roger – importance of well-rounded experiences for children
36:00 Balancing it all
45:55 Experiences that have helped them become better dads
49:55 Having real conversations that men need to
52:20 Essential skills needed for being a dad
57:15 Importance of having humility as a dad, and showing respect to your children.
1:03:17 Special message for black fathers
About Roger Dundas:
Roger is the publisher and co-founder of Byblacks.com – Canada’s top ranked online magazine that focuses on black Canadian news and information. Roger is also a partner and managing director of a top national Public Relations firm Konvo Media.
Roger is passionate about parenting and completed The Father Project: an online photo series that highlights black Canadian men talking about how their relationship with their father affects how they parent. He’s shared his views about fatherhood and masculinity through appearances on CBC Metro Morning, National Post, The Dr. Vibe Show, CTV Your Morning, NewsTalk 1010 radio, G98.7FM and The Good Men Project.
Links for Roger Dundas and ByBlacks.com
Website: https://byblacks.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ByBlacksCanada
Twitter: https://twitter.com/ByBlacks
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/byblacks/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/ByBlacksdotcom
About Matt Prestbury:
Matt Prestbury is the Founder of The Black Fathers Foundation, an organization that provides financial support, networking opportunities and baby supplies to black fathers in need. He is a husband and father who has worked tirelessly over the past two decades to not only provide what his family needs, but also to provide spaces and places for other black men to get the resources and know-how needed to do the same. Matt continuously works to help black men get access to the organizations, information and funding that they need to support and sustain their families to the best of their abilities.
Much of his work is centered around showing the world the truths about fathers and fatherhood in order to combat widely held stereotypes and myths through social media, apparel, music, books and speaking engagements. Matt’s mission is to show the world how involved fathers truly are while continuing to spread the message to fathers about the importance of being present in the lives of their children.
Links for The Black Fathers Foundation
Website: https://www.blackfathersfoundation.org/
Facebook: http://facebook.com/blackfathersfoundation
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackfathersfoundation/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/blackfathersfdn
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/theblackfathersfoundation/
Find resources for your dad life at https://dadcentral.ca
Check out our other conversations at https://dadcentral.ca/podcast
The Dad Central Show is sponsored by Dove Men+Care. Dove Men+Care believes care is the best of a man, because when men care for themselves and others, there is a positive impact.