by Raymond
Your relationship with your daughter can ultimately save her life.
It’s true, the relationship you have with your daughter can prevent serious issues in her future. The problem is, nobody talks about this. As fathers we believe if we provide and protect, we are doing exactly what is expected of us. Nobody tells us that part of being a father is having uncomfortable conversations, and that those conversations could ultimately save her life. What dad wants to have uncomfortable conversations with their daughter? None of us, including me. However, wanting to have an uncomfortable conversation and needing to have an uncomfortable conversation to save her life are two different things. Think about it this way, every dad wants to be the protector of their daughter. We think we will one day have the chance to be the greatest warrior ever on our daughter’s behalf. The Denzel Washington “Man on Fire” or “John Q” kind of role, in fact how many awesome movies have been based on this premise. The problem is, life doesn’t work that way. Can you save her life? Yes! Can you be a hero? Yes! In a much less exciting way, you can be that father.
Here are a few of the major issues our girls will need the tools and support to deal with in their teenage years. Boys asking for naked pictures all the time. Random strangers, grown men, getting into Instagram or snap chat accounts, asking for pics or to meet up. This is happening so much, that some girls become numb to it. Worst of all, they may have to start dealing with these issues as early as 11 or 12. These issues are over and above the always present peer pressure and media’s portrayal of who a girl should be. But the scariest issue our daughters may face is human trafficking. Young local girls trapped into a life of human slavery, each girl can provide a pimp with $250,000 a year. This issue is happening in every town, and exists in many hotels along our highways. Girls can be trapped for years and moved constantly, so that they themselves or anyone else will not know where they are. Talk about a father’s worst nightmare, a total loss of control to save her. SCARY!
The good news is, you can stop this from happening to your daughter. And it’s not that hard. The first step is to understand that these issues exist, and realize that your daughter is not immune. When you do that, you can have those conversations. When you talk about these issues, it means they can feel comfortable coming to you when they experience them. This creates a relationship of trust and understanding. When you have that relationship of trust and understanding, you are modeling positive male behavior and letting them know what is right and what is wrong.
Obviously, there is a lot more to discuss here and it can’t all be discussed in one Blog. But I don’t want to totally leave you hanging. Here are some things I suggest: Begin having these conversations. Let them know what could happen if they sent pics or met these men upon request. Ask them about their experiences or what they think. Some girls will have some understanding of these issues. Nonetheless, your ability to have the conversation helps to establish a positive communication relationship. Treat your daughter, your wife or your partner as you want their boyfriend or girlfriend to treat them. If they learn what a positive relationship looks like, they will be more likely to recognize a negative one. And finally, do a small amount of reading on human trafficking. These people are tricky and masters of deception, preying on girls with low self-esteem or those naïve to positive male behavior. Some fathers think that girls are out right asked to be involved, but that’s not the way it works.
Knowledge and conversation (which takes courage by the way) are the keys to being the warrior you want to be.
A helpful article I would recommend is here.
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